You want to spend all your time whinging and complaining?

Sure. Knock yourself out.

Keep going. Find that drama, create a bit more. Suck it up and spread that cynical vibe wherever you go.

Foist a little frustration on Facebook.

Leave a little listlessness on LinkedIn.

Groan in the grocery store.

Whine at work.

Bitch at the ballgame.

Attack my alliteration.

…you get the point.

Gripe away. Have at it, misery guts!

Maybe, when your life is entirely empty and devoid of joy, and you’ve done your level best to infect everyone around you, you’ll have made it.

Well done! I’d applaud, but I feel so disenfranchised from spending time around you, I just can’t be bothered to lift my arms. Sorry, not sorry.

I can’t abide that negative attitude.

Serial moaners

I’m not talking about people who are genuinely grieving and need some support to lift the weight of the world off their shoulders. That’s a whole different scenario.

I’m talking about the serial moaners who just get off on bringing down the mood. They whingers, whiners, bitchers and cynics who are never so happy as when they’ve missed the train. The blame brigade who always want to point the finger and complain about something. Someone. Anything. Anyone. All the damn time!

I can’t imagine wanting to live that way.

Me? I want to focus on the shit that fills me up and makes me feel happy and successful. I’m weird like that.

Energy flows where focus goes

You know, it’s a funny fact of life that we seem to attract more of whatever we give our attention to. I don’t know it it’s the ‘magic’ of manifestation or simple brain chemistry or psychology, but if we spend our days with that glass half empty, we’ll always feel our lives are depleted.

On the flip side, if we always believe that glass is half full, we might not feel that drive to achieve more.

Me? I have a glass that can be as full as I choose at any time… and I’m always keeping an eye out for the next tap (or faucet for my US pals)!

It’s all about balance. What is it that you really want to achieve in life and what do you need to focus on – and do – to create that?

There’s no point just picturing that dream future and waiting for it to happen – we need to actually put the ACTION into attrACTION. I mean, jeez, if you’ve pictured a mansion and a Ferrari and you’ve never won the lottery in spite of that solid dream, you’re bound to feel pissed off. Thing is, you can’t actually win it unless you get off your ass and buy a ticket!

Better still, stop counting on that miracle combination of numbers landing in your lap and do something practical to start moving towards the outcome you desire. Sure, those dreams might feel immense, but a little positive action, every day, will at least move you closer to them. Or them closer to you.

You know what else? There’s something about getting into that mindset that actively switches our mood into a optimistic gear. It creates hope, direction, clarity. Add a bit of gratitude into the mix and you might end up feeling a lot better about your lot. You might even stop resenting the alarm clock every morning!

Don’t be like Bob

There’s a guy I know – let’s call him ‘Bob’. Bob has a big house, a great family, good health and enjoys regular holidays.

To the outside world, Bob has it all.

And yet, all Bob does is complain.

I think it started out as humour.

Anyone who’s seen the British sitcom ‘One Foot In The Grave’ will be familiar with the Victor Meldrew character; he’s an old guy who is always angry, always complaining. Victor, in his persistent state of displeasure, is funny. He’s a caricature of someone we all know.

Thing is, Victor is only amusing because he’s out of reach, safely behind a screen, and supported by a cast of characters who flip his misery into humour.

I’m guessing, at some point, Bob drew a few laughs by acting like a real-life Victor Meldrew. I bet it was funny at first. A real-life moany, old git.

Long term though, bemoaning life has turned into a habit. And it’s not really funny.

Bob, though he delivers his cynicism with a twinkle in his eye and a slight smirk, isn’t actually fun to be around any more.

If he’s not careful, he’ll grow to believe his pained persona. I think it’s already starting to happen. Bob’s energy has dipped and he can’t wait to moan about the world.

Bob is becoming Victor. And what we need to remember about Victor is that he was actually a pretty lonely character. Underneath that cold wall of complaints was an aching heart and a lost soul, crying out for some love and understanding.

You don’t want to be Victor?

If you see yourself in this, maybe it’s time to change things up. If you don’t want to be like Bob or turn into Victor, start paying more attention to the vibe you put out there.

Think about the kind of things you’d like people to be saying about you. Think about the kind of energy you enjoy being around – the kind of atmosphere that actually promotes a good mood. How can you create that?

If you want people to say good things about you when you’re not in the room, if you want people to genuinely enjoy your company and look forward to spending time with you, you need to become that person.

Nobody’s telling you to become ridiculously positive, start skipping to work or dance around the house with little bluebirds singing around your head – that’s a caricature too!

But, if you put a little more effort into finding the goodness in life, and a little less effort into your cynicism, you might just find your own mood starts to move into a more positive mode AND the people you care about start to want to be around you more as well.

Don’t be like Bob.

Don’t be like Victor.

Be the kind of person you’d want to be around.

Try it. See what happens.

Until next time,