Before you start something new, how focused are you on the outcome?
Do you just drift through life, or is there some big, overarching intention you want to achieve?
If something upskittles you, do you sit in that place of ‘woe is me’ dis-ease, or do you acknowledge that you don’t enjoy that feeling and ask yourself “Okay, what do I want instead?”
That last question is a power-full one, and it’s something I’ve used for years when I’ve needed to flip my negatives and find the diamonds in the rough.
If we challenge ourselves with that question, it can take us on a rapid transformational journey, from frayed around the edges, or down in the dumps, to positive, creative action in pursuit of something wonderful.
The trick is remembering to pose the question!
I learned an interesting lesson about leopards and spots just recently – and it was only in retrospect that I realised my favourite action question had enabled me to create a successful outcome.
Okay – let’s get real for a moment – it was more of a reminder about leopards and spots than a lesson.
The biggest teaching was actually about being so focused on the outcome I wanted to achieve, nothing was going to knock me off track – all thanks to that question!
That’s the message I want to leave you all with this week – the important one, about focus, passion, drive and determination.
I’ve written here before about grown up business people acting like extras from Mean Girls and just recently, it displayed again.
Same people. Different scenario.
Since the lockdown, I’ve been asked to speak at a number of online business events. They’re all via Zoom, or something similar, and they’re a great way of being able to support, help, motivate and inspire lots of people at the same time.
Because I’ve been able keep my own business profitable and active, and my services in demand during the Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve been advising lots of business owners on doing the same.
This talk was no different – it was about how to survive and thrive during the lockdown; a no-holds barred sharing of everything I’d done to keep my head and shoulders above water, and to help as many people as I could along the way.
Off I went, and off they went as well. Chattering constantly on the text screen all the way through my talk, waving props in their little screen views, constantly posting their business offers to counteract/compete with anything I was saying and generally acting up.
The interesting word there is ‘competition’. See, I’ve no idea whether they see me as a competitor, but I sure don’t feel that way about them.
I don’t see anyone as competition – not because of arrogance, but because a competition mindset, for me, can be horribly stunting and result in a really screwed-up mindset.
There might be other people offering similar services, but there’s only one ME, so there’s not really any competition for any of us. See?
Unless, of course, we’re building a business purely on cheap products and under-cutting the next guy, with no care, attention and personal brand behind it – and that’s generally a race to the bottom anyway!
Back to the point… though I noticed what they were up to out of the corner of my eye and, sure, it punched me in the feels a little, I very quickly pulled myself back into centre and asked myself that question.
“Okay, Taz, they’re being jackasses and they may, or may not, be attempting to derail you. What do you want instead?”
I decided to stick to my guns.
See, I didn’t actually agree to speak at this event to win new business – I’m already booking two months ahead and, honestly, I’m getting close to capacity for now.
What I wanted to do was help, support, motivate and inspire other business owners in the virtual room.
I wanted to do my very best to deliver information that might just enable their businesses to thrive, develop, diversify and grow, in spite of a global lockdown.
So, that’s what I did.
I doubled down and focused all my energy and efforts on helping those people, giving every bit of advice I could think of that might just help them to stay on the right side of profitable and positive through these challenging times.
Had I not had that question in my arsenal, I might have reacted differently.
I might have kneejerked into saying something about their behaviour, which would have needlessly disrupted the event for everyone else.
I might have lost my cool – which is rarely a good move in a public business setting.
I might have been so thrown out of whack that I became less able to coach / advise the people who’d turned up to hear my presentation.
“What do you want instead?” – it’s so, so simple, yet amazingly effective.
After the event, I wondered if I’d been paranoid and imagined the entire thing. But then came the messages of support.
Five people had contacted me before the end of that day, all saying they’d noticed the poor behaviour from that same handful of people, questioning their attitude and motives, and thanking me for delivering such a power-full and helpful presentation.
So, not paranoia at all then. And the upshot? Well, whatever their motives, they’ve now made themselves look very silly in a very public forum. Whoops!
Of course, this is just one example of how that question can help you to create the best decisions and tune into your highest self. It can actually be used in endless ways.
Try it for yourself.
Next time you’re feeling in a funk, you’re facing a challenging situation or you’re just feeling dissatisfied with your lot, ask yourself: “What do I want instead?” – and then, it’s up to you to make that happen.
Until next time,
#UnleashYourAwesome – and stay safe and well,