Consider this a new classic, or a twist on an old classic. Who knows – it may even end up in a museum somewhere, or Lt Joe may even receive a Pulitzer Prize. Enjoy the read…

Twas the Night before Impeachment

by Lt. Joseph Pangaro 

Twas the night before impeachment, when all through the house
Not a liberal was prowling not even shifty Shiff the louse

The subpoenas were hung by the courthouse with care
In hopes that the 9th circuit soon would be there

The patriots were all nestled, all snug in the beds
While visions of military pardons danced in their heads

Ladies and gents in pajamas and caps, and I in my red MAGA hat
Had just settled our brains for a long winters nap

When out on the White House Lawn there rose such a clatter
We sprung from our beds to see what was the matter

Away to the windows we flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters to see a GOP celebration bash

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave New luster to the Constitution and it began to glow.  

When what to my wondering eyes did appear
But a presidential limo With President Trump in the rear  

With a Secret service driver so lively and quick
I knew in a moment this would be slick

More rapid than cruise missiles hitting Syrian they came
And he whistled and called the traitors by name

Now Pelosi, Now Swalwell, Now Nadler and Schiff
On Comey and Clapper on Obama and wolf Blitzer  

To the top of the congress, to the top of the hall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As rats on ship scurry in the light
They met with no obstacle, the GOP gave no fight

So up to the senate chamber Old Schiffy flew
With a pack full of lies and a fake whistle blower too! 

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
The tweeting of a hero, that was my proof!

As I drew in my head and was looking around
To the senate floor President Trump came with a bound

He was dressed in a suit, all red white and blue
And on his lapel an American flag was there too!

A bundle of Executive orders he had flung on his back
He worked like a soldier; he clearly had the knack! 

His eyes- how they twinkled, his golden hair so merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry

His phone in his hand he tweeted a few
Pelosi cried and Jerry Nadler turned blue

Liberal anger they held tight in their seats
The curses they called encircled their heads like a wreath 

Trump’s smile so wide they all turned to jelly
They shook when he laughed, like fools they are so many

He was calm and tough, a right jolly old fella
And I laughed when I saw the Snowflakes cry in spite of myself

A wink of his eyes and twist of his head
Soon gave me to know 2020 was nothing to dread. 

He tweeted not a word but went straight to his work
And crushed all their lies, until they went berserk

And flipping them the finger, aside of his nose
And giving a nod to America Out Loud he rose

He sprang to the limo to his men he gave a whistle
And away Team MAGA flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
Merry Christmas to all and to fake news good night!


Based on the poem by CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE