How to shift your need to stay protected to an ability to be perceptive
You know you have a burden on your shoulders.
You know you might have smidgeon of an issue with control.
You know you want to “let go” but just can’t seem to do it.
You know there is more to you, and more to life, but no matter what you do, you don’t feel like you are accomplishing your fullest potential.
I bet you’ve tried meditation, but it only gets you so far, before you feel the incessant need to do something, to get ahead, and not miss out. This is just old programming, old armour we constructed when we needed to be emotionally protected.
I get you. I’ve been there too. Eventually the weight of holding it all together became too heavy. I knew I couldn’t “get there” from this place of striving, and fixing, and trying all the time. No matter what I did, I never felt like I did enough. I eventually got suspicious that my methods were not working.
When I was 29, and tried everything I thought I needed to do to make myself achieve my potential. But, I was slowed down energetically by dragging my past with me. Some people call it sabotage, but now I knew better. All the convoluted defences and protections I developed to avoid being hurt took on a life of their own and hijacked me whenever I got vulnerable or too close to something that really mattered to me.
My armour protected me whether I wanted it to or not.
Things happen in life, to all of us, that we grow and adapt from. These experiences in our past can still hang on in our cell tissue taking up space and mucking up our presence. It’s all the old stuff that needs to let go like dead leaves falling in autumn. But how? I
I mean, what’s the point of having it all or succeeding if you aren’t really there, and aren’t really YOU…right?
You did your best, were you were, with what you had.
And now, it’s time to let go of the heavy armour.
The armour includes the tactics, defences, masks, identities and tendencies that made sense at one moment in time, but need to be let go or recalibrated to enjoy the moment now, and create from possibilities rather than reactions from the past.
Sure, the armour is there to prevent pain, but it’s also preventing presence and possibility.
The war is over.
Are you ready to take off the armour?
Changing your Armour into Intuition
1. Re-Purpose Your Armour
Now we know the psychic armour we construct is there because we needed it in the past.
But, trying to prove we are enough, or avoid feeling pain, will never lead to success that is satisfying. We need to let the old armoured patterns go so we can be free.
The good news is, we can re-purpose it!
Think about it.
Perfectionism can be debilitating and lead to perpetual procrastination when coming from our armour, but coming from our essence it is a great tool for quality work and genuine high-performance in life.
Skepticism can create paranoia, but when authentic and balanced can be a great tool for discernment.
All of our defences and armour can be used for good, if we trust that we can let go of the old way in exchange for an updated version that serves us, not tries to save us.
2. Feel your Feelings
Learning that feelings can be guides was a crazy a-ha moment for me. I remember literally stopping in my tracks while listening to a CD about our emotions as guidance, and feeling at the time that emotions were hell. Seriously, I didn’t believe it. I only knew the reactive, insecure emotions at the time, not the natural guidance they could be.
It took several years after hearing that CD before I could piece together enough tools and healing to experience it.
Letting old feelings MOVE that are frozen in time in our body allows energy to be reclaimed. That’s why holding back emotions and shoving down things from the past is so exhausting.
There is a space- underneath old, un-felt feelings- where your intuition thrives. It is always there. You simply haven’t known that underneath all the fear of being hurt again, or humiliated, you are unconditionally fine, and infinitely resourced.
Don’t believe me?
Well, your heart is beating, and your brain can read and comprehend these words. Right?
There is this subtle intelligence always working with us for us, if we really pay attention.
This same intelligence applies to our emotions.
3. Reclaim your Energy for Your Life
Have you ever tried to hold down a beachball under water?
It’s a lot of energy! The ball keeps moving and we have to constantly be on it.
Well, that’s just like all the energy we use to hold down past emotions that we haven’t been able to let go of.
How much energy could you reclaim if you could stop holding down emotional beach balls.
How clear would the water be if you weren’t fighting the beachball? You could float. You could play. You could be.
When we use all our energy to hold back the past, we can’t really be here.
It is exhausting, and you don’t have to do it anymore.
4. Enjoy the Clarity of Intuition
Letting your armour turn into an ally, or fall off completely, allows your inner receivers in your heart centre to work properly again.
It never made sense to me that we had to scramble around trying to get “it” right, and never get “it” wrong. Again, we simply wanted to avoid pain. It’s natural. But it’s also tiring if we think we have to control it all and hold it all together on our own.
Intuition allows us to connect to an intelligence beyond our comprehension. We were always meant to have this access, but society got a bit confused along the way teaching us to shove down feelings and not be “emotional.” Don’t worry we can fix that now and you can re-connect to your inner knowing.
I couldn’t hear my intuition because the noise in my head was simply too noisy. I didn’t know my thoughts could calm down once I felt safe in my body, and present in my heart. I didn’t know that my feelings could move through my body and become wisdom. I didn’t know, until I learned how to access my centre, trust my body, and accept my feelings. I let the armour fall off when I tuned in to my connection to trust within my own bones and my being.
You can do it too.
It is your nature.
Your armour can turn into inner knowing, presence, and possibility.
‘I think midlife is when the Universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armour is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armour could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen. ~Brené Brown
For more information to connect to your intuition underneath your armour book a call: www.jennasmithcoaching.com
Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash