Once upon a time in the Land of ‘Murica’ lived a sad and pathetic figure, the Royal Fool named Bernie, a Court Jester for the ruling body of the land. As the Royal Fool, Bernie’s sole purpose was to bring comic relief to everyone through his hilarious antics, and the many, many crazy things that he said. But Bernie the Fool had ambitions beyond just being a Court Jester and making a fool of himself.

Bernie the Fool decided one day that he wanted to rule the Land of ‘Murica’ so he began to travel outside the Royal Court to give speeches about his vision for the future. A vision that was based mostly on giving free stuff to the misfits and freeloaders like him by taking it away from the ones who had worked hard to achieve success.

Bernie the Fool did have a loyal following among some of the people of the Land of ‘Murica’. His followers were made up mostly of people like himself, other misfits and freeloaders who were jealous of the others in the land who had worked hard and achieved more than them.

Bernie called his vision ‘Socialism’, a system of government that had never worked anywhere that it had ever been tried before. It was the type of governing system that only a genuine fool would support for the Land of ‘Murica’, which had throughout its history had been governed by a system called ‘Capitalism’. A system that rewarded hard work and initiative, and which resulted in personal success and wealth to those willing to put forth the effort.

But to the freeloaders and misfits who worshiped Bernie the Fool,Socialism’ sounded like a great idea since none of them likely could even spell ‘Capitalism’ in the first place, nor were they interested in putting forth the hard work and effort necessary to achieve success. They weren’t considered the brightest bulbs in the lampposts lining the streets of the Land of ‘Murica’.

As Bernie the Fool traveled the country giving speeches he also added to his own personal wealth, since the fools and misfits who followed him emptied their pockets and foolishly threw their money his way. Eventually allowing Bernie to be able to acquire multiple homes in the Land of ‘Murica’, and to drive a fancy new sports car in order to travel back and forth between his three homes, and the Royal Court.

But alas Bernie the Fool would never become the ruler of the Land of ‘Murica’. He simply wasn’t wise enough, wasn’t capable enough, nor were there enough other misfits and freeloaders to follow him.

The hard working citizens of the land refused to listen to his Socialist ideas, and resoundingly dismissed Bernie as simply just a fool and nothing more. Certainly not a leader capable of continuing the period of wealth the land was experiencing under the current ruler, the Golden One. The man Bernie the Fool wanted to replace.

The Golden One had brought wealth and prosperity to the land that had been unparalleled in history. The citizens of the land had begun to feel more secure knowing that they had a strong leader like the Golden One, who obviously loved the land and its people. The Golden One worked tirelessly on behalf of all the citizens of the land, unlike Bernie the Fool who simply worked on behalf of the misfits and freeloaders.

So Bernie the Fool would not succeed in his quest for power. His plans to redistribute the wealth of the successful citizens of the land, giving it to the freeloaders and misfits would fail. And Bernie would once again find himself relegated to performing his act only in the Royal Court. And no one would ever take him seriously again. Since “there’s no fool like an old fool”.

After all, the Golden One had once told us all that the United States of “America would never be a Socialist Nation”! And he was right!

The End.