It can seem to work out perfectly for some.
Others, like there is a cloud following them.
Here’s how the latter see life:
Why don’t things just go as planned?
When it rains it pours.
Why does this keep happening? When will I get a break?
We can feel deflated, frustrated, exhausted and fed up when things fall apart. We make plans, we feel clear and confident, and then something happens.
We feel thwarted and disappointed.
Thing after thing after thing. Breakdowns and unexpected let downs plummet our emotions and outlook.
The cycle of poopy feelings now keep repeating and we feel like a pawn in some crummy plan where nothing works out for us. We begin to feel like the universe does not have our back, or maybe something extreme like we are cursed or just doomed to never getting our way.
We begin to feel like something is wrong.
Something wrong with us.
We feel wrong, hopeless and helpless.
The problem with this cycle of thinking is the feelings of being helpless and hopeless. The feelings generate thoughts that repeat. At which point they grow bigger into beliefs. And beliefs occur as truth to people. So life starts to be seen only through the lens of our beliefs. Not what it is but what we paste our beliefs onto it to be.
We can fall victim to pervasive feelings of resignation when we focus on the things that don’t go our way.
What if ‘your way’ was the problem the whole time?
What if your addiction to needing things to look a certain way or go a certain way was actually the cause of pain in your life?
What if life didn’t need to be perfect for you to be happy?
I’m driving to The Power of Success event in Toronto, ON Canada along with 8,000 people attending the event plus the millions of Torontonians also in AM rush hour.
I left early at 6 am to beat the rush.
All was going to plan.
I’m almost there.
I get into the correct lane to make the turn I saw on the GPS map.
I turned. And, it was the wrong turn! GAH!
My GPS proceeded to give me the stupidest instructions – U turns, left hand turns into 4 lane traffic, OMG.
If you have driven during traffic you know what I mean. Once you are off course, getting turned around can be quite the ordeal.
I kept going and trying to get in the right lane to make the impractical directions my GPS seemed to like suggesting in heavy traffic in a city.
I was growing impatient, frustrated.
I yelled at the GPS of course, because then it would listen to me (I thought).
Agitated and edgy I finally looked to my right and saw a Starbucks. I parked my car and took a breath.
Time to re-group.
I walk into the hotel the Starbucks was located in, and see a 10 person deep line-up.
Breathing again, I calmly stepping into my cue in the line. I embraced the wait, and took advantage of the time to gather my energy. While I stood there, shifting my weight from leg to leg still processing the agitation in my body, I resisted the egotistical thoughts that the line should go faster, I shooed the thoughts away like pesky mosquitos.
My plan to be early was officially kaput.
My perfect start to the day wasn’t ruined, just different.
I stopped the cycle of reacting and shifted my mind to accept what is.
Then I looked up and saw,
-cue the angel choir and bright spot light-
Dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt.
You see, I was at dinner with a friend just the night before and we walked a few blocks looking for these little delightful morsels of pleasure but alas all the Starbuck’s were closed.
So, what if the energetic GPS of the universe was directing me to the chocolate almonds?
The thought+emotional energy of the night before was stronger than my desire to be early.
I snatched up the package of chocolate almonds. I ordered my coffee. I walked back out to my car with a renewed sense of centred confidence.
I set my intention in my mind now to just get there, no matter how many weird turns or how long it takes. To arrive was a win at this point.
I set the GPS in my car again.
I was ready.
My happiness was no longer conditional.
I wasn’t frustrated because of traffic, or the GPS instructions. I was frustrated because reality should have been different than it was. My expectations created my frustration.
I got up early and had a plan. I deserve to have everything go well.
How many times do we feel that way in life?
I’m a good person. Why is this happening?
Fair is not a factor in the universe.
Energy is fundamentally neutral.
How you perceive it is where your power lies.
Your mental interpretations and emotional reactions shape your reality. So, in essence the universe “listens” to how you see reality not what you think it should be. If you think it’s unfair. You will feel victimized, and the lens you see life through will lock in those beliefs. Then you are stuck in a loop of only seeing what you believe life to be, not how it is or could be. Life starts to look dismal and bleak because you are only focusing on your perceptions of lack, and what is not working.
Your thoughts, reactions, emotions and actions shape your experience of life.
Life is just life, doing it’s thing with or without you.
If you want it to be different, you need to manage the space between your ears, not micro-manage the whole world around you.
Unconditional happiness means having NO conditions.
Think about the word. Things will go wrong, things will go right. This is fundamentally true for everything you will ever do. Yet, why do you set life up for disappointment nosedives with your expectation that everything should work out or be perfect? This is a flawed habit many people do. I encourage you to try out new ways of seeing the world, and find out how you can make little shifts to get your power back within a day.
P.S. While I was writing this the neighbours dog was barking loudly and annoyingly. Just as I wrote the last paragraph it stopped. The expectation that I can only focus or write without annoying dark barking was totally within my power to rise above.