I have learned that one person’s cool is another person’s kind, and that perception has a lot to answer for.
Perception ties into so much – it can hold us back or propel us forward, depending on how we handle our own.
I’ve seen people frozen in fear over what people might think, and others trampling forwards regardless because they perceive nothing beyond their own desires.
And then, there are the perceptions that blend with reality and, sometimes, create more confusion – or more determined action.
Time is a perfect example. The reality is that we all have the same 24 hours each day. The perception is that we have more, or less, than everyone else.
I have the same allocation of minutes as you, every single day. I might choose to use mine differently.
My perception used to be that I wanted to help everyone. My perception *now* is that I want to help those who are ready, willing and *wanting* to create change.
How does this tie into time?
I perceive that I could spend hours trying to help someone who doesn’t actually want to change their situation or, at least, isn’t ready to do so. In the meantime, I perceive that I could have helped several people who were in the right space.
I have no proof of this. I just know I have a big mission and a finite number of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years until my time in this earth suit is done.
My perception is that I cannot serve everyone, so I *choose* to serve those who actively want that support /guidance /coaching /healing /leadership. See? Perception and reality intertwined.
I also choose to perceive that if there is no solution, there is no problem.
If there’s no fix, it’s not so much a problem as part of the tapestry of life. Observe it. Learn from it. Move on. There’s no point ‘wasting’ time going around in circles for something that can’t be changed.
That’s another perception right there, isn’t it? Time is never really wasted, I know – there’s always something to be gained – but I perceive that we must choose what we want to focus on.
This leads to another perception: my feelings around time mean that I have laser precision when it comes to looking at what I can, or cannot, positively effect, and choosing where to spend my moments. I have absolute clarity around this which has, in the past, led some people to perceive a certain coolness.
For instance: if someone’s going around in circles, endlessly attracted to problems with no solution or constantly undoing themselves and not moving out of that space, I’ll happily help them *if* they actually want to break out of that pattern.
I can usually ascertain (or perceive?) fairly quickly whether they want to unstick themselves or whether they’re actually quite happy going around in circles.
Sometimes people like to stay in that comfort zone of bemoaning their situation and collecting the honey from people responding to their plight. That’s good honey. Why would anyone want to give that up?
In those cases, I’ll be compassionate, but firm. I’ll let them know I’ll be happy to help if they choose to make change but, in the meantime, I’ll be over there, with the people who are ready to make some positive shifts, and they’ll need to get off that merry-go-round and come find me if/when they’re ready.
My perception? I’m not sinking my time into that honey pit when I can be working with goodness knows how many other people who are ready to do something meaningful with their lives.
Does that make me cool? Some might perceive so. Perhaps even cold.
My perception? It’s more kind than cool. I’m not enabling someone’s ‘stuckness’ and I’m letting them know there are other options should they choose to explore.
See? Perception has a lot to answer for. Nobody’s really ‘stuck’ – that’s all perception too.
Checking in with our own perceptions, from time to time, can be hugely insightful. It allows us to take a different viewpoint AND encourages us to notice when the perceptions of others (or our perceptions of others’ opinions) are holding us back.
They say perception is king. It’s MY perception that actually, WE rule our own lives and, if we gather enough courage and discipline, we can be champions of our own destiny, regardless of the perceptions of others.
Until next time,