Feminine energy does not mean dancing around a fire with long hair, wearing a purple scarf hugging everyone, and masculine does not mean Arnold Schwarzenegger doing bicep curls. It definitely has nothing to do with the colour pink or the colour blue either.
Our societal gender roles have genuinely nothing to do with what these energies mean.
We all have both masculine and feminine energy.
The basic breakdown looks like this:
Nature is whole within its extremes: night and day, ebb and flow, autumn and spring are all examples of balance within the contrast.
Here’s a word from Wikipedia about Yin and Yang, Feminine and Masculine polarities:
“The yin and yang dates back to 305 – 240 BC.
A concept of dualism in ancient Chinese philosophy, describes how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.”
As men and women or non-binary, we thrive when we balance our masculine and feminine Energies.
When you read the table above, you will see which qualities you identify with more. Starting from there, you will get a sense of where you might need to balance one energy or another. One energy is genuinely not better than the other, we need both and were created to use both.
To get a sense of when your energy is imbalanced, check out this chart.
How to Balance your Masculine and Feminine Energy
In my 20’s, a friend of mine who was doing hypnotism sessions with me, lovingly suggested I do more math, plan things out more, and overall strengthen the left side of my brain, which has been popularly associated with masculine energy. My energies were very imbalanced, and I over-identified with being a spiritual, creative person. I didn’t want to fit in boxes or be limited. In reality, I was creating my own box of messy disorganization by not learning how to use healthy masculine energy to my advantage. What I didn’t know was that by doing this, I would strengthen my creative, spiritual side.
I started to plan things and measure things more and worked on developing my healthy masculine side. However, sometimes this was not healthy. Sometimes, I would get imbalanced and get into over-doing mode, which would lead to burn out and that cycle would repeat.
By practicing my shamanic energy medicine, psychotherapy, and ontological coaching, I was able to start balancing these powerful, opposing energies that enhance everything when mastered. I started to think of it as Nature, that there would be no river without a river bank. And made peace with action, measurements and societal boxes.
When I teetered too far into the doing-doing-doing masculine, I had to reconnect to my feminine. Which is often mistaken for being a passive doormat, or 50’s housewife. But instead, feminine energy includes things like pleasure for pleasure sake, being present in the moment, which leads to a state of feeling fulfilled, beauty and creativity, trust in life, and playing for the fun of it. It’s all about experience and living. This could also be thought of as Mind and Heart. Our mind is like masculine energy! It likes doing and progress that is physical and measurable. The feminine can feel fulfilled just existing, which freaks out masculine side when the two are not in balance.
Doing from a BEing State
Here’s what I recommend.
Access your BEing self, the one underneath all the noise of thoughts and outside expectations, then DO from this place. I call this my centre, where masculine and feminine are balanced and my mind, body, heart and spirit are all connected and “online.”
This is a goal that takes time, have patience with yourself and be consistent rather than aggressive with yourself. Getting to BEing is a transformational process that takes more than reading, and workshops, to learn more go to www.jennasmithcoaching.com.
Once you can access your BEing self (your centre, your clear mind, your integrated self), you can be assured your actions will be informed by an intelligence far more grand than you can fathom. We be and we do. That’s the point. We need both. Doing informs the BEing, and BEing is pretty ineffective in the material world without action.
While in BEing mode, ask yourself:
“What needs to get done?”
“What’s next? Show me what to do?”
Allow the answers to bubble up and arrive. You know you are only stuck in your mind when the thoughts buzz around like ping-pong balls all over the place. Our integrated mind will become aware of thoughts, images, or simple knowings to act on. The instructions we get from this BEing state could be as mundane as “pick up bananas,” to big ideas for a book or project or investment idea.
Asking yourself these two questions activates all of your intelligence, not just your thinking mind, ping-pong mind.
Then once you get some integrated thoughts coming in, now it is time to organize your thoughts into bite-sized to-dos, so you can move projects forward.
Don’t forget to take “BEing breaks” which some people call self-care or well-being. It doesn’t matter what you call it, take breaks from doing to check in on your inner intelligence/BEing for any updates since you began doing.
It’s a constant rebalancing game by the way. I am always checking in and re-directing myself when I find I am veering too far into masculine or feminine energy. Integrating masculine and feminine energies brings more happiness, productivity and peace into your life, and that is pretty amazing.