Healthy Entitlement in the Epidemic of Self-Rejection
Here’s what I know, North America may not suffer from as much poverty as other countries, but the citizens of this ‘land of opportunity’ are seemingly incapable of truly feeling good enough or grateful for what is in front of them, here and now.
It’s not their fault. Ads and social media have created an attention span disaster and a deep hypnosis of faster, bigger, better, more is obviously best.
Which means, being happy and content with who you are, or your life, is going to leave you behind, being good enough isn’t good enough.
There is always something to improve and the satisfaction of being enough is always out there, over there, or out of reach.
I, however, have learned a practice I cheekily call Healthy Entitlement.
When I thought I was a big-shot diva singer in university, I practiced bratty diva entitlement. I used arrogance as armour to protect myself from my own insecurity. I never felt good enough no matter the compliments, awards or praise. No matter my body fat percentage or amount of amazing friends, I simply never felt good enough. When I had the ability to heal this within myself, I was able to look up from my navel gazing and see that most people, on some level, felt the same way!
What was going on? I set out to find the solution, which brings me to writing this article.
Through healing, recovery, transformation, and spiritual connection I could finally see past this insidious false belief that plagues the majority of the western world. The belief that we need to hide who we are, because we are not good enough. We need to work hard to keep up the facade that we need in order to measure up. We can’t just be.
Well, hogwash to that I say. Rather than being humble, we need a good healthy dose of I AM AWESOME, I AM GOOD ENOUGH, I AM GOOD JUST BECAUSE I EXIST.
We need to tattoo these statements backwards on our foreheads to re-wire the hypnosis every time we look in the mirror. That virus in our head on repeat telling us we do not deserve, because we are not good enough. Instead of a physical tattoo, however, we can begin something called Thought Substitution.
Thought Substitution is the process of swapping out a draining thought for a regenerating thought.
I am amazing because my heart is beating, life thinks I’m a good idea.
What’s the use?
Who cares if I mess up, feel embarrassed or am afraid to look dumb?! It’s my life and I am going to live it.
I will never make enough money, I am hopeless.
Of course I will always have what I need, it has worked out before, and I am supported in ways I cannot even see.
Here are more examples of Healthy Entitlement:
- I am entitled to feel my own feelings no matter people’s opinions or societal norms.
- Just because someone else is going through something perceived to be more challenging, doesn’t mean I cannot feel my own feelings.
- I am entitled to ask for what I want, with grace and respect. I do not need to be angry or a brat. I can simply ask.
- I am entitled to pluck a piece of fruit off of a tree because nature made it just for me.
- I am entitled to my own thoughts, and equally capable to manage them so they are in alignment with what is highest and best for me. Good news is, what is highest and best for you, just happens to be highest and best for others too, because we are connected like that.
- I am entitled to dream and get excited about possibilities even if I do not know how they are going to happen. I can simply delight in the enthusiasm of dreaming.
- I am entitled to giggle at a funeral if that’s what my body and heart want.
- I am entitled to have chocolate cake for breakfast, but am also able to choose what will fuel my body best.
The general idea of this practice is to begin to entertain that you are a magnificent, worthy human being, as are the other human beings around you. We are all in this together, and we all are making it up as we go.
I invite you to entertain that you are enough, and to begin acting with healthy entitlement to claim the life that’s on the other side of self-rejection. A life where you align with life itself and begin to live from the magnificence that you are, that we all are.
Look up, and open your eyes. You are not alone. You do not need to prove anything to anyone. Be you, live, breathe…it’s all ok.