EVEN THE STRONG GIRL STUMBLES… Kelly Murphy’s Final Words Before Her Death
Have the insidious contradictions of people in your life ever left you shackled with depression, anger, resentment, frustration, shame, guilt, distrust and a fear so deep that you default to a safe place captive to a victim mentality? We all trip and fall from life’s blows and sometimes the descent is so deep you naively choose to adopt a ‘stuck in suck’ mentality. The question is, how long do you sit in the depths of despair before you dust yourself off and get back up again stronger, wiser, better and more empowered? Is dusting yourself off really the answer? Suck it up buttercup, really?
THE GIFT OF LIES & DECEPTION
It was a trifecta of sucker punches that left me wondering WHY people are so mean, dishonest, selfish and disgusting. One. Two. Three. All in a matter of six months, the lies and deceptions of my closest and most cherished personal and professional relationships unfolded. My dignity, emotional stability, physical health, trust in others and core values were tested. Worse, I failed the test. I allowed the power of the ‘negative three’ take me down a dark rabbit hole of hopelessness, isolation and escapism. Are you guilty of a similar transgression at the hands of another person’s behavior?
EVEN THE STRONG GIRL STUMBLES!
FEAR of hypocrisy, I sought refuge from speaking, writing and relating to people, as my discomfort left me embittered to the principles, theories and techniques that I know are effective. Anger and hatred invaded my mind, lips and actions. My professional wisdom could not offer me the hope I needed to get me out of this spiral downward. I tried everything to keep my head above water; exercise, eating healthy, reading positive psychology, journaling but nothing was working. The more I tried to control my resentment the more dispirited I felt. At my lowest low my best friend and rock persuasively invited me to Beth Moore’s bible study, Breaking Free. NOTE: I would describe myself as a Convenient Christian, possessing reservation in belief, but I knew instinctively that I had to do something ‘different’. What a gift from GOD! HE loves me enough to give me the lessons of life through pain – for me; not to me.
“Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind” (Philippians 2:2, NIV).
I am learning the answer to peace is not in a book, seminar, friends, family, therapists, partying, buying things, recreational drugs or any of the peripheral ways we seek peace. How willing are you to try something different? With trepidation I crawl toward the light believing that this season of lies, deception and mistrust will gift me a changed heart, more empowered to pursue my strengths. My brokenness revealed the genuine commencement of my spiritual journey. HE is up to something good and I am open to the lessons of my despair. I am Training 2 Find HIM and I know he has all the answers I couldn’t find in the external realm.
Are you guilty of seeking answers externally? Are you looking to friends, family, books, recreational drugs, alcohol, or obsessive thoughts to pull you through the test of life? Do you acknowledge that all of your most difficult situations in life are for your benefit? What can you do that is different from the tips and tricks you are leaning on for freedom?