To Divorce or Not To Divorce.... that is the Question

In this show I had the pleasure to interview Brother Femi Awodele, whose mission and passion is to help save marriages through biblical principles and up to date realistic advice. His description and thoughts about marriage were so intriguing and enlightening that I had to interview him and probe him more on how we can reduce divorces and the unfortunate incidents of spouses being murdered by their significant other.

Being Married: Some thoughts from Brother Femi about Marriage

– Marriage is a Union of two human, a Male and a Female (biological gender). The structure of Marriage was ordained by God, not by any human civilization or culture.
– The union of Marriage is bound to have problems, because two humans (a male and a female – biological) with different Nature (biological and spiritual) and Nurture (family of origin, community, neighborhood, etc.) are coming together.
– No Marriage can or will survive (in true happiness) with both party making up rules as they go along, not following laid down rules and principles found in scripture (the Bible).
– The biggest obstacle in any Marriage surviving is PRIDE – when both or one of the party, chooses not to die to SELF or be vulnerable to each other, rather to want to stand on cultural norms or worldly principles (instead of willingly doing godly laid down principles).

He goes on to say for your marriage to survive there are boundaries you have to set, which I know many men and women will frown to and possibly defy all of the suggested boundaries. I personally think the following boundaries he suggested are healthy and practical:

Being Married: Healthy Boundaries to Save Your Marriage

– Have each other’s passwords, for all social media outlets and leave it to the other person to look or check if they so desire (except work related).
– Encourage each other in your DAILY spiritual growth and in intimacy with God (the surest boundary is a strong Vertical relationship – the Fear of God).
– Avoid leaving apart, if you have to then let it have a time limit.
– When apart, set stricter boundaries – no talking to opposite sex about emotional issues. Ensure daily communication and prayer time.
– Avoid talking to an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend (or someone you have feelings for) without the knowledge of your spouse. Never keep such conversations a secret – it will come back and bite your kahunas.
– When there are unresolved conflict issues (particularly emotional for women and sexual for men), avoid the opposite sex conversations, particularly at work or where you go often (over 60% of adultery takes place in the office in America).
– When you are on a road trip (business) without your spouse, avoid taking alcohol or anything that impair your judgment or night-out that involves a bar (you are married).
– If your emotions starts flowing when you see the image of an ex or anyone that seems attractive, first tell your spouse, then avoid that environment or ensure you don’t have intimate conversations with that person nor be alone with that person.

Brother Femi Awodele from Nigeria, is the Executive Director of Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc. a marriage ministry based out of Omaha, Nebraska.[/I]who says About 16 years ago his marriage was going to be a statistic, and for God’s grace this moment was the turning point that led him to study the institution of marriage, quit his corporate job and get into ministry full time. He is the leader at the Christian Couples International He has thirteen published books, speaking opportunities around the world, public policy activism on marriage and over 400 articles mostly on relationship from a biblical worldview.

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DrStem is a Licensed Psychotherapist, International Best Seller, Teen-Parent Expert, Wellness Coach, Certified Passion Test Facilitator, Certified John Maxwell Leadership Trainer, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Trainer, Motivational Speaker, Life Coach and President/Founder of Global Counseling & Coaching Services, Inc. which focuses on speaking, training, workshops and seminars for teenagers, parents and women. She is the Host of the DrStem Show Talk Radio and Podcast on America Out Loud. DrStem “Life Plus”, is all about Motivation, Inspiration, Education, Empowerment and Encouragement. She is a teen-parent expert who understands that many teens are missing the parental or adult guidance they need during these challenging years. DrStem is on a mission to inspire, and empower teenagers and adults alike to feel the fear and go after their passions and dreams anyway. Her work is designed to bring HOPE, boosting confidence and encouraging others to live their lives Freely and Fearlessly.