Whether life’s knocked you down or you’ve always felt less than, you can start now to gain the confidence you covet in others and create it for yourself.
What is a Self Esteem?
Dictionary says: Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.
What I consider it to be is a knowing that your being, no matter what you do or do not do, is at it’s core worthy and loveable. Then, the other stuff is just stuff. It doesn’t rock your world or play over and over again in your mind. When you have self-esteem, you also have more presence, you can feel good no matter the circumstances of life may be. You can actually feel good even if your mood is low, because you know it’s temporary.
I’m sure this might sound deep or too lovey-dovey, but really, think about…actually feel it out. This would feel good to have wouldn’t it?
How is this level of inner confidence and self-esteem possible?
- You need to entertain the idea that it IS possible. Being willing to take on a reality other than what you know/knew takes some serious mental/emotional courage.
- Now, who would I BE if I were confident and trusted myself? Get out a pen and paper (or crayon and napkin-you do you) and start writing it out. Let yourself expand beyond what you think is do-able to what could be possible for you. If I didn’t feel like a failure, what might I try? If I can’t get “it” wrong, what would I do? and equally important what could I stop doing or let go of? Who would I BE?
- For 6 weeks, read what you wrote and add to it if you wish. Let your days be spent 1 foot in this world, and another foot in the world you are creating. Use your imagination, wonder and curiosity throughout this process.
- NOTICE. Is anything starting to shift be week 2? 3? 4? Keep an Evidence Journal of where you stood up for yourself, forgave instead of berated yourself, perhaps made healthier choices or cleaned up old messes… notice and note it down.
- Feel your feelings. Breathe and feel, this will move old energy that has been stuck in your and weighing you down. (Go to jennasmithcoaching.com for the heart breathing process for a solid tool to follow for this.) Go for walks, take moments throughout the day to let silence have some space. New ideas and the new YOU is born of this space. Who cares if it’s a moment in the bathroom, or at red lights, who cares? weave it into your day.
- Participate in your life. Where do you need to speak up? What self commitments do you really need to commit to again? Do what makes you YOU! and if you don’t know what that means, take this time to figure that out.
There’s no self-esteem if you don’t even know yourself.
Decide you are worth it.
Decide you are worthy.
Start to create a self-esteem from scratch and watch this creation, your claimed created reality, start to take over your life by slowly adding in more power, presence and purpose. It starts with you first, then life can meet you with all the goodies those confident people seem to get.