Ask For What You Need
No matter your relationship status, here are some ways to truly enjoy this day society has decided means buying stuff for your romantic interest in celebration of love.
Let’s assume you are all in. You love the chocolates, the flowers, the surprise gifts, all the things. That’s great, enjoy and have fun and make sure your partner knows the things you love. Don’t play stupid, “if you really knew me you’d know,” games with people you love. Everyone is different, and the way to get your needs met is to use your grown-up voice to actually specifically ask for what you need, and inform on what you like. I learned this in my 20’s, when I would set certain expectations for my boyfriend at the time, but not tell him what they were. Apparently, then I’d know how much he really loved me! Rather than already knowing he loved me because he did in his own ways of showing love. Crazy right? But, painstakingly common. Make this day and everyday work for you, by using your voice to specifically share what you like and don’t like. Also, let’s let people show love in their own ways and be who they are, so you can be who you are.
Know What You Like
It is no one else’s job to read your mind to give you what you want. It starts with you. You need to buy the things you like. You do the things you like to do. So then your life is like a billboard for all your preferences. If you dink around not choosing what delights you, and claiming it, no one can do it for you. Isn’t that liberating? You get to ensure you are not disappointed, because you are creating your life daily to align to who you really are with your own unique preferences and choices. Yay.
Let Yourself Receive
If you need love and reassurance from others in order to feel lovable, you are in trouble. You will never get enough love from others if that is what you believe.
There’s this thing about being human that is misunderstood. You need to BE something first, then you can receive it from the world. If who you are being is constantly needing validation to ensure you are loveable, you will attract situations that continually require others and the outside world to determine if you are having a good day or a bad day, if you are loveable are not. That’s a lot of power you are giving away if that is your belief system you subscribe to. The good news is, you can ensure your liveability by knowing you are loveable NOW. Nothing to do or not do, your sheer existence already proves you are worthy. You are alive and part of nature, and nature does not need to prove anything to get what it needs. It is all connected, balanced and intrinsically worthy. Newsflash, you are part of nature. KNOW you are loved now, you exist therefore you are loved. Now, you can receive from the world in ways beyond what your limited mind can begin to comprehend. Now, you can have preferences and speak up for yourself as well, so the people in your life know how to make you feel loved too. The world will continually try to show you you are already worthy, until you decide to choose that for yourself. Make Valentine’s Day the “I Choose Me’ day. From that foundation, you can receive from others.
Manage Your Expectations
If you get all wound up about how this day should be, you might create a world of disappointment for yourself for no reason.
What if you just let yourself be today?
What if you looked at the day with wonder and curiosity, rather than expectations and an inner mental tally of what needs to happen in order for you to be happy?
Then everything is a surprise.
Then whatever happens is ok. Have a bit of a sense of humour even. If things aren’t going your way, have a little chuckle at how ridiculous life can be sometimes.
Go home, do what you need to do to feel good, manage your mind chatter, get present, then whatever happens, whether you are in a relationship or not, is OK. You are good. This is a day, just a day.
“And still, after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe Me.”
Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.”