There was a lot of interesting commentary about Attorney General Barr’s first testimony in congressional hearings on 9 April while the released Mueller report was under review and still more after his presser when the redacted report was finally released last Thursday. While most are now focused on the comments made during his presser, I would like to go back to his testimony on 9 April before a House appropriations subcommittee. Many conservatives were elated by what he said during that hearing. Most observers and commentators have summarized his testimony in terms of the following points made:

  • The redacted report is being released “within a week.”
  • The redactions will be color-coded and entirely lawful: classified info, grand jury testimony, info associated with ongoing cases, and privacy-protected information of people under no legal jeopardy. Good luck getting that, Democrats (and getting sued if you do!).
  • The Department of Justice (DoJ) Office of Inspector General (OIG) report on Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) abuse is coming soon, too (“in May or June”).
  • Mueller had a chance to review the Barr summary letter but chose not to.
  • He stated that his letter was not a “summary of the report” but rather a statement about its conclusions. Poor Democrats!
  • Finally, he stated that he was looking into the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) counter-intelligence investigation that was a basis for the special counsel appointment in the first place, as well as other unspecified actions by the Obama DoJ/FBI.

And of course, with Thursday’s release of the redacted report, he is delivering on what he promised during that testimony!

While this conventional wisdom about what he said is pretty darn good, I have it on good authority that he had other answers prepared for the questions that were tabled in order to continue the slow ratcheting up of the anxiety, desperation, and pain of the cabal and their enablers in the Democrat Party, the Deep State, the media, and elsewhere. Part of the counterattack against them involves the use of torture – in this instance, the psychological variety. How do you like them apples, Democrats? You apparently don’t like waterboarding although that practice saved lives after 9/11, but you get to taste a different kind of torture in the weeks to come!

I am also convinced that AG Barr even uttered some of his original prepared answers to himself as he was listening to the grandstanding Democrats trying to frame their ridiculous narrative and the related questions they asked during their star chamber hearing. Here are some of those unspoken answers:

The Chairman of the House Appropriations Commerce, Justice, Science, and Related Agencies Subcommittee, Jose Serrano (D-NY) led off with his meandering opening statement. When he got to the part where he mentioned “the elephant in the room” (the Mueller report), AG Barr mumbled this to himself while listening to Serrano: “Wrong elephant, dude. That muh Russia deal was as fictitious as Dumbo; the REAL elephant is #Spygate.”

Serrano then expressed concerns about the “speedy process” by which Barr produced his letter.

Barr (to himself): “We’ve had three weeks to read the report, dufus; how long does it take you to read 300 pages? And we’ve been talking to Mueller all along – but you already knew that, right?”

Serrano mentioned that NYT article that claimed Mueller’s summary documents were ignored in preparation of Barr’s letter.

Barr (to himself): “Yeah, we already know who “leaked” that information; she’s going down for prior leaks. In this case, the leak was bogus, which is what the NYT generally is, by the way.”

The chairwoman for the full House Committee on Appropriations, Rep. Nita Lowey (D-NY), then called Barr’s handling of the Mueller report and the letter unacceptable.

Barr (to himself): “You wouldn’t know what’s ‘unacceptable’ if it jumped up and hit you in the face. Stick it where the sun don’t shine. By the way, I’m following the law regarding redacting parts of the report, too. You can use printouts of the redacted parts as a suppository.”

Serrano then asked if anyone on Mueller’s team was involved in drafting the Barr letter.

Barr (to himself): “Yawn. What’s for dinner tonight?”

Lowey then asked whether there was any debate about the contents of the letter and questioned how it could have been produced in 24 hours.

Barr (to himself): “As you well know, you political hack, we’ve been in direct consultation with Mueller’s crew for months and knew the gist of what the report would say. Leave this to the professionals and stop grandstanding.”

Rep. Matt Cartwright (D-PA) takes his turn at asking a question. After meandering about Obamacare, he asks Barr whether 12 million people will lose their coverage if O-care is “repealed.”

Barr (to himself): “I’m the AG, not the HHS secretary, dumbass! Go ask Alex Azar for that answer.”

Rep. Grace Meng (D-NY) asks Barr whether the WH was involved in preparing his letter on the Mueller report.

Barr (to himself): “I’m dealing with spoiled children here! I don’t have a blue six; go fish.”

Meng asked Barr if enforcement under the Voting Rights Act is a DoJ priority.

Barr (to himself): “Not as big a priority as prosecuting voter fraud, bitch.”

Rep. Charlie Crist (D-FL) asked Barr about the recent reports that members of the Special Counsel’s office said Barr’s memo understated the level of malfeasance by Trump.

Barr (to himself): “Didn’t you used to be a Republican once upon a time? Could have fooled me! By the way, I used some of Mueller’s own language in my letter. Try again.”

Rep. Ed Case (D-HI) said there are exceptions that some grand jury material can be released.

Barr (to himself): “How much more of this rookie lawyer crap do I need to listen to here?”

Case said, “We’re sitting here from my perspective with virtually unlimited discretion for you to redact from that document. Maybe, if I trusted my government more but I don’t.”

Barr (to himself): “You’re shitting me, right? I’ll bet you trusted Obama’s crew to conduct illegal domestic surveillance and unmasking of American citizens, didn’t you?”

Barr (to himself nearing the end): “This hearing is a joke. I’m really here to notify Congress of the impending indictments of a number of sitting Democrat congressmen for leaking classified information to the media, as well as for participation in a seditious coup.”

<End of the parody testimony of AG Barr at the House hearings on 9 Apr>

Okay, okay, it’s a bit of wishful thinking, but it’s not that far-fetched, as AG Barr is almost certainly up to speed on #Spygate, FISA abuse in general, the fake Russian dossier, the leaking of classified information, the obstruction of justice, and the rampant political corruption in his own agency and the FBI during the Obama regime. As a student of history, he knows that he has an opportunity to be remembered as one of the most consequential attorneys general in US history if he follows the law and evidence to their logical conclusion.

During his calm and measured testimony, he reminded me of nothing so much as a Cheshire cat who just ate the canary. If the Democrats were hoping to practice “gotcha politics” against him, they found themselves to be hopelessly outmatched.

And then he testified in Senate hearings afterward that he believed the Trump campaign was indeed spied upon. And elected Democrats and the legacy media commentariat have gone completely bonkers in denial since then, with some like Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) calling for AG Barr’s resignation, and others like the lunatic Jennifer Rubin, who writes the “Right Turn Blog” for the Washington Post, even calling for his impeachment!

I really love watching these #NeverTrumpers and assorted Democrats/leftists come completely unglued! And AG Barr is playing a BIG part in driving them insane. You just know he wanted to zing a few of his congressional inquisitors, but I am convinced that he is on board with their planned slow torture. And he did a great job of twisting the knife in them all during his press briefing last Thursday! Thanks for restoring a modicum of confidence in DoJ again, Mr. Attorney General. I – and many other patriotic Americans – look forward to some real accountability for those involved in the Russia collusion hoax, the soft coup against a duly-elected US president, FISA abuse, and illegal domestic surveillance and unmasking of Americans in the near future. It is a target-rich environment!  Image: Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press

The end.