There is an abundance of Self-Discovery, Self-Help, and Spiritual systems, tools and philosophies out there, that could cause people to feel more overwhelmed than relieved when embarking on improving their life. If you follow my work, you know I tell it like it is and give practical tips and tools to get your life working for you, so you can love it.

What to do?

Vision Boards
Tapping
Affirmations
Meditation
Oracle Cards
Mantras
Yoga poses (Asanas)
Bullet Journalling

Are they working?

Well, from the looks of it anxiety is still on the rise and people are freaking out daily for ….most of their day.

Having a career in transformation, and a past in psychotherapy I’ve seen it all; under the hood, and behind the curtain of people’s REAL experiences. Beyond the surface of “I’m fine,” I hear the fears, the doubt, the “will this work for me” flecks of hope, and hesitancy to avoid looking foolish.

Doing anything different or unknown will bring up confusion, insecurity or hesitancy, all those feelings are expected when embarking on any self-development.

Here’s what messes people up, when a person reads a book or article and gives blanket advice to another person without any sense of the individual’s state, circumstances, learning style, or unique soul path. This is just that person trying to fix the other person. Most people are so uncomfortable with discomfort they like to dish out these happy, handy motivational sayings.

My favourite: “Hey, just fake it ’til you make it.”

This one is right up there with “just think positive.” 

When someone comes along and says this, sometimes we want to punch these people in the face. Which is a totally normal response when in ‘reality’ you are afraid you won’t make rent that month! 

When people do take on this advice to fake it til they make it, they take it on and burn out feeling more hopeless than before. They use all their mental energy to convince themselves it’s ok and all will work out, it becomes almost manic when they truly are in some form of terror about the worries they are experiencing. It all becomes too much, and when the willpower gives out, they give up. The energy to pretend is not the same as the energy of trust and surrender acting as if is meant to partner with to be effective.

Here is what’s missing:

  1. ACCEPT AS IS
  2. ACT AS IF

Most people spend all their energy trying to convince themselves all will work out, but the energy required to force those potent emotions down is enormous and taxing; normal human willpower can only hold out for so long.

The first step is to ACCEPT AS IS.

Without any mental or emotional interpretations, practice accepting what is here, now.

This does not mean you are resigning to that reality forever, or tolerating experiences you know need to change. The feelings of discomfort ARE the impetus to change. Discomfort is the feeling designed to direct us to move, act, shift or alter. 

Once we ACCEPT AS IS, “Ok, this sucks, I have not a clue how this will work out…”

We can ACT AS IF, “What would it look like if I DID know what to do next? I wonder how this will all work out? I’ve gotten through things before when I had no idea how I would…” The point is to ACT AS IF the problem is already solved on some level. This is a powerful practice that can bring incredible results if used correctly.

Don’t skip the first step. Be with the uncomfy vulnerable feelings first, then step into the feeling and mindset that it is already done, you knew exactly what to do, and your life finds a way to work in your favour.