Have you ever met people who feel the world owes them everything? Perhaps you are in a relationship that demands your time and energy, and you have neither to give. Maybe it is your child who is constantly begging for things you cannot afford, nor do you want to purchase.
Entitlement is not a word we hear very often, but when we do here the word, it activates reflection. We immediately wonder if we are one of those people who think everyone was born to serve us. People who walk in the spirit, and energy of entitlement often feel as though they are superior to those “other” people.
There is always a “them” and, an “us” mentality; a “me” and then there is “you.”
People who think the world owes them something are generally those people we consider over coddled by parents. Parents who live from a place of thinking that working to provide for the child is relational. You know, the one who think if “I pay the bills” then I have fulfilled my obligation as a parent? The one who says yes to everything.
Many parents go overboard because they want to be the child’s friend, not realizing parenting means guidance, coaching, educating, and mentoring all of which require boundaries. If teachers allowed students to run willy-nilly around the classroom the results would be disastrous. Parents would complain, and that teacher would more than likely lose their job. Sadly, parents only lose their jobs (sometimes) when they become physically abusive. Raising a child without controls in place is not raising them at all.
Without government and law people lose their religion. They do what they want, when they want. There is no one to put controls in place. There will be no speed bumps, stop signs, speed limits or order. Parents are leaving children lawless.
In an age when technology rules the day, our children are given gadgets and gizmos to occupy their time and minds. They sit for hours upon end inside of their rooms without parental engagement focused on social media, or games that drive their consciousness. They resurrect from their tombs, oh, I mean rooms, to a world in which we expect them to be rational human beings.
I dare say much of this entitlement generation have not known sacrifice and the old thing called “chores.” When was the last time you heard that word, Chores? It sounds a bit antiquated. Where did it go? Who stole my list?
Children left to raise themselves are always given parents; we just do not know who they are; they just show up in the behaviors. Someone or something is always at work in your child’s life. The thousands spent on electronics for them, the designer clothes and the best of everything money can buy is harmless has left them open to a world that will show them no mercy. The key word here is balance.
When a child does not have to earn anything; he/she begins to think life is set up to always give them what they want. They begin to think they are deserving of special treatment, and when it does not happen; they become frustrated, angry and sometimes depressed.
What happens to that child who has had everything given to him or her? How do they manage life’s disappointments? Work builds character. Children should be taught character building at an early age.
Picking up toys, making the bed, clearing the table, mowing the lawn; these all sound basic, but they build character. Remember children can be taught to follow instructions. They go to school, do their homework and learn to follow the rules at school. The homework is working at home. If parents employ what school’s must do by law; they would appreciate the order it would bring into their lives.
A little girl growing up with a spirit of Entitlement will often enter a relationship looking for the man with the money. While he is out working she is out spending. A boy growing up with a spirit of Entitlement will often feel he can always go back home to his mother. He has never learned to leave home, he holds that option in the back of his mind that he can go back. If that door is ever closed; the relationship with his parents can be strained.
Children who are raised as little kings and queens with no boundaries, do not understand the word “NO.” These children are often called spoiled brats, and lack the social skills to communicate effectively with other children. The root of entitlement is insecurity; they think getting their way all the time is a source of power and control. They have controlled their parents and they do not understand this is not a healthy way of being.
I am pretty sure everyone of us has felt Entitled to a degree. Perhaps we went through a horrible experience, and we felt an injustice was done, and we are owed something. We resented missing an opportunity, or not getting that promotion. Most of us recover nicely, however some of us do not.
Entitlement is a learned behavior, and every learned behavior can be unlearned. If you are a parent and you are raising your child to always be the recipient of blessings, and not giving anything in return; you can shift that behavior. It may take some time, so be patient. You created this child, and you can in time, recreate their thinking and redirect their lives.
It is not only children who feel a sense of Entitlement, it is adults who grew up thinking they were the cats meow. God has a way of allowing life to help us to put things into perspective, even when we are not prepared for it. If you, as an adult are still thinking you are better than everyone else because you were born with certain privileges, or think that you have arrived, and feel it is okay to be condescending and arrogant to other people; please, get over yourself.