Call them drama queens, drama mama, people who like to stir things up, wishy-washie men…What be so ever. However – there is a clinical term for people like you or me when and if we over indulge in emotional time, pain, or suffering. Let’s call it what it is – addicted to chaos, MISERY.
How can someone be addicted to feeling bad? Don’t we normally seek out pleasure rather than pain?
It probably does appear to others that the person is addicted to feeling bad… but if you think about it, they probably don’t know anything else. It has been their source of survival, a way of living, for years, and therefore, they probably wouldn’t know how to act any other way.
Check this out – Sometimes sadness or misery becomes a habit. It’s easier to feel constant disappointment than be happy for a while and then have something knock the wind out of your sails.
DrBev Believes that many people found that the misery that they submerged themselves in and even created was because they were trying to manifest externally how they felt internally. They would create drama, choose bad relationships and friends, etc., so that they could have the anger and upset that they felt inside.
When Misery is Company: End Self-Sabotage and Become Content written by Anne Katherine MA, and several other groundbreaking books of popular psychology, “Misery addicts are addicted to avoidance, self-sabotage, and a system of survival that results in loss of joy, intimacy and potential.” Emotions R Us…All of us!
Anne Katherine says this is more complicated than other addictions. “With alcoholism, for example, you get abstinent first then change your lifestyle,” she said. “With misery addicts, the lifestyle is the problem.”
For people who are addicted to misery, happiness itself is threatening. These are people for whom Alfred Lord Tennyson’s generally accepted adage of 1850 (“Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”) is just not true.
Now you know. You know that people can be addicted to feeling bad all the time! You know that some prefer the pain route – in fact it’s all they know. Here is how you break out of this vicious cycle:
- You must realize that you’re addicted to misery. Your first step must be your acknowledgment that it’s not working.
- Stay in your own body and mind. You do this by not internalizing all the distractions and negative behavior around you.
- Watch your words. Stand in front of a mirror and recite your feelings to yourself. Watch your lips move and then realize that words have consequences.
- Stop being mean to yourself. If you don’t like yourself how do you expect others to like you. Work with the gifts that God has bestowed on you by making a list of your best attributes.
- Remove yourself from others who don’t support you. Negative people are a drag and they’re hazardous to a healthy mind.
- Get some professional help to work thru this chapter. There are times when you need another perspective. It helps to get this from a trained professional who can help guide you.
- Love yourself enough to take care of you. You do this by clearing out all the negative thoughts, and you focus solely on the new YOU!
When you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired – that’s when you know you’re ready to make real lasting change in your life.