Lightning Bolts Shattered My Thoughts
Lightning before the big bike ride north!

Thoughts are random. Feelings are fickle. Emotions derail, flare up, tumble down and astoundingly spin around like a world class roller coaster. I am good. I am bad. I am happy. I am sad. I am smart. I am stupid. What was I thinking? I should. I shouldn’t. One moment you are a rock star; the next moment you are beating yourself down with “I Suck”!

The I Rock, I Suck Syndrome strikes us all and the key to defending your mental combat zone is awareness coupled with a change in thinking. Thinking is a habit and the question is are your thinking habits positive or negative? Hurting or helping? Building you up or tearing you down? Is your story making you bitter or better? Mind chatter can be a ceaseless, combative game between you and your inner mean child. We all have an inner voice that wreaks havoc on our life. You wouldn’t choose to be miserable or to live a life of status quo, would you? Check your thoughts.

After waking from a life of self-inflicted burden, I realized the combative experience I suffered from was born of the story I created. Shortly after helplessly watching my friend bury her 5 year old son from terminal cancer, consciousness afforded me the prospect to make different and healthy choices. Born, too, was the desire to cycle from Tampa to New York City in memory of Alex. For 6 years I wished, dreamed, wanted, desired and planned to take this cycling journey only to understand that fear and doubt left me stuck in my comfort zone – wishing. What I failed to recognize was that I had doubts about my physical capabilities and further was afraid that I would bomb in the middle of this bold journey. As always is the case, fear and doubt led to my inaction. One moment I could and the next moment I couldn’t. I am strong. I am not strong. I can. I can’t. Who do I think I am? I am an Ironman. I am…STUCK in fear! My thought world was preventing me from taking the next bold step!

My personal journey has been one centered on fear and the best gift was the realization that my life circumstances were built on my disparaging thoughts. I could change my life if I changed my thoughts? This was good enough for me to test to destruction. Bigger than fear of failure was my fear of not attempting to realize a dream that was born inside of me. I knew at my core, I would live with much regret if I didn’t follow my journey up the east coast from Tampa to New York City. After years of losing sight of my passion plan, I implemented the 7 step change process that I speak about in my professional work. My physical journey was met with mental preparedness. The surprise element was the spiritual awakening that I created by facing my fears, quieting my mind and opening myself to a once in a lifetime experience.

Prior to leaving for my cycling journey, Tampa Bay was hit with three solid weeks of intense thunderstorms that were the gasoline to my personal suffering of I Rock, I Suck Syndrome. I was at a pivotal stance in my training to prepare for the physical endurance required to cycle 80-100 miles a day and most days I felt like a rock star! When conditions are not ideal in life, thoughts begin to attack your psyche. With each undesirable, soggy mile on the Suncoast Trail, I found myself forgetting about my rock star status and falling prey to thoughts of “I SUCK”! Bolts of lightning shattered my positive thoughts with the torrent rain swirling me down the negative thought trap. I found myself second guessing my bold plan. What am I doing? What am I thinking What if I die? What if I get hit by lightning? What if I fall off my bike and get hurt? I Rock, I Suck Syndrome was in full swing; this time I was armed with awareness. Little did I know, this consciousness would carry me 1,300 miles up the coast to New York City.

WIM_7161 - done (1) copyMy cycling journey presented me with many physical challenges but the mental challenges proved to be the biggest monster of all. Every moment, every second, every hour, every day, every week and every month leading up to the day I left my driveway I was at war with my beliefs and lack of beliefs. In life you have choices. Do you choose to think healthy? Are you thinking on purpose? Are you aware of your thoughts? Are your fears disguised as reality? Your mind is designed to create a combative experience and if you lack awareness of the thoughts which control your actions, you could wind up living a life of “stuck in suck”. 

Choose to think on purpose! Choose your thoughts carefully and pay attention to how you fill in the blank: I am ________.  I AM – the most powerful words you will ever think or speak. How do you choose to fill in the blank? I am blessed. I am strong. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am unique. I am an Ironman. I CAN. I DID.

Kelly Murphy Fit & Fearless Living is on a faithful mission to transform a “stuck in suck” mentality and inspire the desire for healthy and prosperous living. Email: Kelly@fitandfearlessliving.com

“Everything you want from your dream life is on the other side of fear”

Kelly Murphy Fit & Fearless Living is on a faithful mission to transform a ‘stuck in suck’ mentality and inspire the desire for fit, healthy and prosperous living. She is the author of Fear Is Horseplay, a child-like story created to inspire all ages toward fearless action. Kelly’s influence on sharing her personal story of failure, tragedy, addiction and overcoming a limiting mindset is at the core of her life’s work. In 2011 Kelly crossed the Ironman finish line with an attitude that anything is possible if you are willing to do the work. Kelly is passionate about tackling the health crisis of our nation one story at a time.