Home Expert DrBev Beverly Jackson Denial, Lies & Betrayal: Relationships Part 1

Denial, Lies & Betrayal: Relationships Part 1

The reality is we are actually in denial whenever we feel that we are hopeless and take the ‘do nothing approach’ to create a happier, healthier way of being. Or, we may feel that we have only one choice, one solution to life’s problems and issues. Rarely does only one solution exist for a problem or issue. Let me explain...

Facing reality is important to eliminating unhappiness in all facets of our lives. Facing the truth means acknowledging that we pay an emotional price every day we don’t take action to eliminate our unhappiness. Your unhappiness could be linked to your discomfort, pain, avoidance, self-sabotaging behaviors and emotions. In terms of awareness we are all programmed to look for the right answer. In most cases the honest truth is that there are no “right” answers or even “good” answers. There are only choices and consequences about unhappy relationships with yourself and others.

Love and Fear cannot reside
in the same moment.

Denial, like bliss may be a wonderful feeling – however both are very time consuming. Usually our opportunities for creating happiness are squandered away in a series of moments struggling to find a solution that doesn’t hurt at all.

Connecting your emotional dots within denial, lies, and betrayal using a foundation built on research by Authors, John W. Travis, MD, and Regina Sara Ryan, “Because so few of us have learned to express our emotions constructively, on those occasions that negative emotions are expressed, they are often expressed in an unhealthy manner. The feelings and emotions themselves are considered bad, when what is actually “bad” is our unskillful ways of expressing them. Feelings are natural and normal. Feelings have no morality. They just are. In our attempts to deny our feelings, we turn to food, TV, alcohol, drugs, unhealthy relationships, or compulsive work patterns. We may become depressed, and so weaken our whole immune system; or literally armor ourselves against painful emotions by severely tightening our muscles–a precursor to symptoms of chronic pain and crippling disease.”

In DrBev’s World of reality psychotherapy we all have what we feel are reasonable excuses validating our beliefs for continuing behaviors that no longer serve us in a healthy way. However, as adults we no longer have need of behaviors that are outdated and connected with other negative outdated behaviors that become patterns and, eventually become our current emotional habitual behavioral responses to our life.

The reality is we are actually in denial whenever we feel that we are hopeless and take the ‘do nothing approach’ to create a happier, healthier way of being. Or, we may feel that we have only one choice, one solution to life’s problems and issues. Rarely does only one solution exist for a problem or issue.

Listen up… doing nothing may appear to be the least painful of your options. Emotionally, it
is the most painful.

We feel guilty, fearful and our uncomfortable detachment from emotions leads to self-denial, lies and betrayal of our – Self.” Which may be fundamental to many of our relationship and life problems that we are experiencing?

You are not alone. These issues and emotions are real challenges that real people face in their pursuit of personal happiness. We can’t change anyone but ourselves. Could it be that it is not the people around us that need to change; that it is US, you and me. It is our thought process that make-up our view of our world and how we see things. Research shows that the pathway to real happiness has to include a means to deal with and eliminate unhappiness. Take Action.

[Part 2 can be found here: Denial, Lies & Betrayal: Relationships]

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