“I had no idea I’d try to take my own life in the morning, I was smiling and loved the way my hair looked hence my selfie placed on Instagram seemingly happy, smiling, made-up face. I had a good day that day. I took a walk and went out to eat with my family and genuinely enjoyed my time with them. But that night, I overdosed and was in the hospital for the next week.”
Often, when a story comes out about mental health, the image that accompanies it is of a sad, gloomy-looking woman. But that’s not what people with mental illnesses always look like.
Having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) means that your mood can switch to suicidal in seconds over the slightest trigger. Suicidal isn’t just crying, for those with a troubled life and long build ups to breaking point, it’s also snap decisions made whilst your son sleeps in the same house and your loving partner kissed you goodnight hours before.
BPD is a “serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning,” according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson was recently diagnosed with the same condition, and said that his mood swings caused him to black out. For many their diagnosis means that they can have suicidal thoughts over “the slightest trigger.” These include:
- Intense fear of rejection, separation, or abandonment.
- Rapid changes between thinking someone is perfect to believing they are evil.
- Risky behaviors including unsafe sex, gambling, drug use, or accumulating credit card debt.
- Threats of suicide or self-harm.
- Difficulty empathizing with other people.
For Further Insight:
NAMI – National Association Mental Illness:
Borderline Personality Disorder Support Group:
BPD and Romantic Relationships: If You Really Loved Me:
9 Tips on How to Recognize Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder:
How a Borderline Relationship Evolves: