Because I Said So

I used to think it made me fit in with the popular people. So, I learned how to do it the right way, and how to make it look like I’ve been doing it since before it was cool.
I was told not to do it. I was told it would affect me later in life. People said it changed how they looked at me.
This didn’t deter me from doing it and only shored my rebellious side. I didn’t like being told how to live and what I couldn’t have. How it disturbed others was their business, not mine.
Then I grew up. And the insight was surprisingly welcomed. I didn’t Need to have anyone’s approval (this being my stubborn nature and Not rebellion). However, I did want my own validation. I didn’t approve of my choice anymore. This mattered.
So, I made an internal deep dive into my reasons for doing it. My biggest driving trigger was being told No. I decided to compromise with myself and progressively change the access to it. Make it My decision to go the extra steps that grew in length to get what I wanted.
I didn’t tell Myself no. I did it on my own and on my terms. And Pride came with it?!
If I had known that, I would’ve worked on figuring this out sooner.

Photo location King John’s Castle, Co. Limerick, Ireland
(click on image to enlarge)

©Copyright Joy M. Kleid “Because I Said So”